Repercussions
by The.Squint
Summary: 'It was only after she spoke that he came to realise that she had been waiting for him to return; Every action has repercussions and it is time for Nick to face his. Set directly after 2:15 'Cooler'
1. Avoidance

**I think we can all agree that the kiss between Nick and Jess was 'Hot-to-Trot' and that all us Fic lovers picked up our keyboards and wrote the happy ending we all hope for. **

**Though I **_**do**_** hope for a happy ending I am not expecting one any time soon and so here is my Fic of which I have hoped to include a likely scenario their storyline will take.**

**I would love to know your comments.**

**Your views.**

**Anything.**

**But mostly, I just hope that you enjoy…**

_**Repercussions **_

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**..**

…

He had certainly meant it.

He could feel that she had meant it too, for the passion within that single moment was so overwhelming that as they naturally came apart he couldn't stop himself from stealing another two kisses from her, which she gave him freely.

That was all.

He knew that those 12 seconds were all he could have of her tonight, and maybe ever. Sam but a mere few meters away and she cared for him and what they had shared in those 12 seconds, he feared may not have been enough to loosen Sam's grip on her. Did he even want Jess? He hadn't really thought about it, not really, not until they had been shut behind that iron curtain and suddenly he came to realise that he couldn't cheapen the moment between them in such a way as to kiss in amongst an array of drunken chanting. Which in a way almost reflected that of a teenage drunken party, but they deserved more than that. She meant more to him than that.

He had to walk fast and without looking back, knowing that if he dared he would be helpless and return to her for more, but her eyes followed him into the safety of his room; large and filled with shock. Her pupils in particular he noted were wild and dilated, reflecting the arousal he could feel pulsating through him right now.

He heard his door slam behind him and instinctively face-planted onto his bed, but found that his muscles continued to move until he became a kind of twitching mess in amongst the sheets, but unlike hers, his bed was empty. . He had too much coursing his body; hormones, electricity and the continuous flashes of her arms as she wrapped them around his neck and the strength of her kiss.

He couldn't control his mind as it replayed that moment over and over in his mind. She hadn't even hesitated; she had given him as good as he was giving, it was fast and filled with electricity. It caused his heart rate to reach dangerous levels, just the memory of her and of how her lips felt against his and of her soft skin and the coconut aroma of her hair, was all it took.

He aggressively rolled over in his bed and placed his head in his hands, sighing as he did so. What had he done? What was he supposed to do now? The fact that he couldn't escape the memory of it, not even for a second was beginning to scare him. Had it meant more to him than he had intended? Had he released emotions within in he didn't realise he had withheld. Why couldn't he stop thinking about it?

Time seemed to leave him behind in amongst the memory of her lips before eventually, his whole body suddenly seemed to sag under the weight of exhaustion but his head began to feel lighter, floating amongst images of purple frilly bras, red lips and brown curled hair.

Tomorrow was another day and he would deal with the repercussions then, because of course, he could not expect to do something of this nature and return to life as normal, though it was a nice thought? Or was it? Wasn't it just the easiest outcome, but was it the outcome he really wanted?

…

..

.

Then he was awake; he had heard the door open, _his_ door, or had it been his mind playing cruelly with him. Unsure, though unwilling to confirm, he feigned sleep and listened. He could hear someone breathing and knew that it could be no one but her. She had come to his room. His heart began beating furiously against his chest, but he found that he couldn't move, paralysed by the fear of why she was here.

He found that he was holding his breath in a desperate attempt to hear her every move and to follow any steps she may take towards him, but he heard nothing, she was simply standing at his doorway.

Part of him wanted to confront her, but the fear that she was igniting within him was so real that it appeared to freeze him. He couldn't understand what had processed her to enter his room, was Sam still in the apartment? Was she looking for answers? He knew that was something he couldn't give her, but if she was looking for more of what they had shared earlier, that was something he could do.

His thoughts broken with the sound of his door closing and there was nothing but silence. She was gone.

He rolled onto his back and began hitting his forehead with his clenched fist, whilst silently screaming over and over "_Why did I kiss her. Why? Why? Why…_

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…

He had known from the moment the kiss had ended that it had the ability to result in serious repercussions, but never had he imagined that he would go without speaking to her for as long as he had; four days and not one word. He'd barely seen her, and it was all down to him for he seldom left his room before hearing her walk out the front door, whether it be her leaving for work or to meet Sam or Cece and in addition to that he was working, what he feared to be illegally long shifts at the bar in the hope that she would be asleep upon his return.

It had been working.

He had not had to deal with the awkwardness of the situation.

He hadn't seen her.

He had however had to deal with the continuous assault of the memory of those 12 seconds. That's all it was and yet, it had been all he could think about since it had happened.

He found himself replaying it once again as he entered the apartment in the early hours of the morning following yet another long shift; the feeling of her arms as they wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling his lips down upon hers that little bit harder, giving the kiss a kind of passionate roughness.

He felt exhausted to the point of losing the ability to focus his gaze and so it was no surprise that as he entered his room, ready to collapse onto his mattress, that he didn't see her sitting within the chair at the corner of the room. It was only after she spoke as he shrugged off his jacket that he came to realise that she had been waiting for him to return; not unlike that of the mafia awaiting the return of their next victim.

"I miss you"

He hadn't received a shock like that in years; he had never expected to see her sitting within his dimly lit room, especially not after everything that had happened, was still continuing to happen between them.

"Christ Jess! You scared the –" he then realised what she had said, the first words she had spoken to him in four days, the first words following their moment. She _missed_ him "I still live here Jess"

"But you're not here are you? It's been four days and I've barely seen you"

"I've been busy" that wasn't an answer, he knew that much, but it was what his mind was willing to give having been thoroughly unprepared for the upcoming onslaught of questions.

The bluntness of his lie did not seem to go down well with Jess "Your bar closes at eleven Nick, the only reason you are getting home this last is because you want to" her voice containing a kind of sharp edge that he had never heard before; was she angry with him?

He felt his body tense, he was finally here; the moment he had been avoiding and he was more exhausted than he had ever felt in his life, he could barely think straight. He stretched his eyes wide in an attempt to focus his vision and for the first time in four days looked her in the eye and within them he could see the anger that edged her usually melodic voice.

"Why are you angry with me?" a spark of fear shot its way through his core, in all of his worrying over how awkward it would be for him, along the way, he had forgotten how she must have been feeling. He swallowed bitterly, hurting her had been the last thing he had ever wanted to do, but as he looked into her eyes he feared that it was already too late.

"I needed you Nick and you weren't there" she broke the eye contact, obviously finding it difficult to talk about what it was that was upsetting her, or was it just that she found it hard talking to him?

"Why, what happened?" he suddenly felt the urge to close the gap between them and provide the comfort she had obviously been lacking, but he couldn't, his feet seemed to have cemented themselves to the ground. Guilt infected his entire body and he suddenly felt the need to explain that that he had only been acting this way because he had allowed himself to get caught up in his own mind, but that it didn't mean that he didn't care for her greatly and that he wouldn't have come running if she had called for him. Yet he stood there quietly and waited.

She turned back to him with a kind of coldness he had never seen in her before "I broke up with Sam, which you would have known about had you not been avoiding me these past few days"

With the news of her new-found relationship status he couldn't repress the feeling of happiness that ignited within him; she had broken up with Sam, the tall, brilliant, good-looking doctor. His mind instinctively making connections; was this a coincidence that she ended her relationship so soon following their kiss? Were the two actions correlated in some way? He repressed a smile, but upon seeing the sadness that rested within those large, blue eyes of hers he was filled with a very different array of emotions.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Jess" and he was, he really was. First and foremost he was her friend and this fact should override everything else going on between them, but this wasn't the case, because he had made it so. He had pushed her away for fear of this very situation and yet now he was here, his only wish was that he had gotten here sooner.

"Why did you kiss me?"

**There we have it, thank you for reading and I really hope that you enjoyed it… There is more to come within the next couple of days I hope. Please let me know what you think, I'd love to know. **


	2. Reasons Unknown

**Thank you to all those who have taken the time to review, it is nice to see people are enjoying this. **

**Here is the next and potentially last chapter, I may write my own version of a 'Happy Ending' – but I feel this is more in keeping to the characters right now.**

**But I may be persuaded… If you want another chapter then let me know **

**Thank you for taking an interest in my fic.**

**Please enjoy**

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"Why did you kiss me?" her voice quiet, as if she were afraid of the words she were speaking.

There it was.

The very question he had been avoiding and been haunted by all at the same time and still he was no closer to an answer. Not a real one.

"I don't know" it sounded stupid to his own ears, but he had tried to understand the logic that had processed him to take her as he had that night but without success, the best description was that he had already given her whilst they stood behind the iron door; a string of words, that together made no sense.

"How can you _not_ _know_ Nick?" her voice holding very little patience and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. If he had a better answer he would give it, but the emotions that he felt that night and during that kiss had been something he had not understood, and continued to confuse him still. Until he understood the logic behind the kiss for sure, he would not put himself in the situation of lying to her. That was something he would never do, and though it pained him to see her so desperate for more than he could offer, he would offer no more, because anymore would be a lie.

"I don't have any answers for you Jess, I don't know what more you want me to say"

She jumped to her feet, fast and angry "I don't understand Nick! You outright refused to kiss me whilst everyone chanted for us too, and yet you are more than happy to kiss me with my _boyfriend_ in the next room and make it into some dirty little secret"

"That's not what it was" his voice strong and sharp, he resented her attempt to cheapen the moment they had shared. He found that he was breathing heavier; she was beginning to get to him.

"I thought you didn't know anything so how can you tell me I'm wrong?" she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, as if the situation they were in was _that_ simple.

"Jess!" he sighed in frustration, running his hands through his hair as he did so, she was being impossible "Things are not that simple and you know it" he spoke with a strength previously unknown to him.

"Then maybe you should have thought this through and got the answers ready before putting us in this situation"

She was being unreasonable and completely naïve if she truly believed that it was him and him _alone_ that had created this situation they found themselves in. Though he could not deny that it had been him who initiated the kiss, the falling of the first domino, it had been her that had kissed him back with just as much force and passion as he gave.

Things had always been a little different between them, they had danced around each other practically from the moment she'd moved in and they had even admitted to one another that they found the other attractive; the idea of a relationship was not unthinkable.

He found it infuriating that she believed that she could reflect her share of the blame onto him; she could have stopped him the moment he pushed his lips to hers, but she hadn't and so she couldn't now play innocent. She wasn't the only one with questions.

"Okay well then let me ask you a question then Jess"

"What?" she folded her arms defensively, in preparation for what he was about to ask her.

"Why did you kiss me back?"

He watched as the shock slapped itself across her face and as she desperately fished for an answer, unsuccessfully. He couldn't stop the corners of his mouth curling upwards into a satisfying smile, in an odd way he was rather enjoying this; to watch her fall over the very question she had criticised him for failing to answer.

She tried to begin an answer, though was left a stuttering mess "I … Um. I, it's –"

As he spoke he was unaware of the fact that he was slowly ascending on her "Having trouble, let me ask you another; why did you come into my room later that same night?"

Suddenly he found that they were closer than they had been since the kiss. Her sweet aroma filled him and he realised just how badly he had missed her, her eyes, her scent, everything about her. He found that the exhaustion he had previously held had dissipated between them and as his heart beat hard and fast he had never felt more awake. His eyes flickered down to her lips, the lips he had claimed as his own only four nights ago, could he risk it again? She was single now, things were simpler, but with a bed in such close proximity things were bound to cross another line and therefore become a whole lot more complicated than they already were.

He would have to resist. This was as complicated as he could let things get.

If he allowed himself to kiss her, and _how_ he wanted to, he knew that in the long term it could do more damage than good. The fact of the matter was, together they couldn't understand what attracted them to one another and what had led to the kiss. It had seemed so spontaneous, but the driving force must have been within them for months, unknown, hiding within the dark corners of their minds. Waiting.

He couldn't let anymore happen, not until they both understood how they felt about one another. Not until they were sure.

God only knows what would happen if things progressed further and so he held back, but he had found that things had been quiet between them for a while, was she thinking the same thing? Did she want him to kiss her again?

She cleared her throat, breaking the tension that had built between them "I thought you – You were supposed to be… Sleeping… I, um" she sighed, defeated "I don't know"

"It's harder than it seems isn't it?"

He could see in her eyes that she was disappointed, possible due to the lack of answers she had found, but at least she understood now that just because we do something doesn't mean that we completely understand the reason behind what drives us. We are only people after all, filled with hormones, hopes and fantasies and sometimes when something as real as what they have hits you, it can knock you off your feet and leave you unsure of how you landed the way you did.

Or maybe she was disappointed for a whole other reason. Maybe she had wanted him to make things more complicated…

"I have one more question for you" his voice had softened as he looked into those great eyes of hers.

"Okay"

"Why did you end it with Sam?" he was no longer asking the questions as a way of getting even, for this was a question with an answer that he knew could change everything. She just had to say the words.

The intensity between them built once more and they were still so close, to the point that he could almost feel the heat radiating from her, like waves it hit him, making it harder to breathe "I have told you before, Sam's not the kind of guy you spend Saturday night in your sweat pants with – I could never be myself around him, not really" her voice low and nervous, but he could see that she wasn't angry like she had been before; he could see the Jess he knew beginning to shine through as he saw her let slip the smallest of smiles.

It may have been a moment of madness, or the fleeting return of confidence from the days of trench coat Nick but he found himself saying words that made insinuation that had been so beyond anything he had ever thought of "We spend a lot of our Saturday nights in sweat pants"

What was he saying? Did he want to be her boyfriend, the one she could truly be herself with and follow the tall, handsome doctor? And all this because they share a liking to sweatpants? But it was more than that wasn't it? It was like a sixth sense, for he knew that there was something between them, something that was more than he had ever known and yet he still didn't really know anything about it.

"I know" her voice breaking slightly under the strain. He could see that she was as nervous as him, perhaps more so.

He knew what should follow, the next logical question and yet the confidence of trench coat Nick did not return to help expel the words and so it was down to him. His whole body fought against him as he opened his mouth to speak, he felt more nerves in the moment before he spoke than he ever had, even more so than the kiss.

"Is that what you want?"

He had finally asked the question that had been burning away at him since they'd shared the kiss. Did she want him in the way that he wanted her, in whatever twisted and unknown way he wanted her.

"I don't know"

He was disappointed, though he didn't understand why for he knew that if the roles had been reversed and it had been her to ask him the very same question the he would have given the exact same answer. He shouldn't be disappointed but then here he was looking into her enormous blue eyes, falling into them almost, wishing that she had given a different answer. What would he have done if she had? Would that have suddenly made everything clear? Would he suddenly have known how he felt for her and what had possessed him to kiss her?

Though he was undeniably disappointed he knew that this was the safest way for both of them; of the entire mess they found themselves in the only thing that seemed clear to them both was how little they really understood how they felt about one another and until this point became clear it was better for them to hold off altogether.

"Yeah" he mumbled to signal to her that he understood her answer and her reasons for giving it.

"I do know something though" she spoke with a wicked twinkly in her eye and a smile tugging at her lips.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" he couldn't help to return her smile; the air between them was beginning to clear. He felt as if he could breathe easy once more.

"You drive me nuts Miller" her teasing tone causing him to chuckle.

"Finally, something we agree on"

Together they shared a laugh, something they hadn't done since that day and it seemed to warm him. She could often warm his cold soul and bring a kind of happiness to him he had been without. She was something special, something unlike anything he had ever come across and he knew in that moment that they were strong enough to pull through the awkward and yet tempting situation before them. How tempting her lips looked to him in that moment and he was sure that he could kiss her now and that she would respond as she did that night and they could even enter into a kind of relationship, but he knew that it would be wrong, for neither were ready for something so complicated and serious. He cared too much for her and it was this point alone that kept him kissing her now; she was too important to risk losing and if they were to become more than friends right now the risk of losing her would be great, because of course he would screw it up, like he does most things.

If they were to enter into a relationship he would want to do it properly, like he had done the kiss but neither was in a position within their lives to properly commit, particularly when they did even understand how they felt towards each other, a general love of sweatpants and an underlying attraction are not enough to build a lasting relationship. He needed to be sure and until he was he would keep back. She was too special to risk losing. He would wait until he knew, no matter how long or hard it would be, she deserved more than he could give her right now.

"Now what?" she looked up at him with those eyes of hers, which before had held an anger beyond compare and yet now contained only the shine that was found in her.

"We wait" he spoke confidently, because he was sure that this was the right thing, in the long run at least.

"For what?"

"Until we know for sure"

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**I really hope that you enjoyed this – despite the fact there isn't a typical 'Happy Ending' but I am toying with the idea of writing another chapter. Reviews are always appreciated! Thank you again!**


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